Tuesday Troubles is, funny enough, part of the Self-Care series. The series covers simple things you can do each day to take care of yourself. I keep it very brief, because time is important and not all of us have a lot of it on our hands. This info is not meant to replace any type of therapy you may already be receiving, or any information or advice you may have received from your medical or mental health providers. If anything, this is just extra information from one person who cares to another. Tuesday Troubles is a bit different. In this post, I want to share the importance of identifying problem areas and then coming up with solutions. It’s a bit of an expressive post, which is part of overall self-care. Because this is new to the self-care series and still in the process of defining itself, I’ll start by expressing one of my own personal problems.
One of my biggest problems is anxiety. It creeps in when I least expect it, like a little monster, gnawing at my brain. It tells me I’m not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough. It tells me that I’m going to lose my job, my partner, my friends. I know rationally that all of these things cannot happen together. I can logic the heck out of these thoughts, but it doesn’t make them go away.
Part of the problem, from what I’ve learned, is that humans have evolved to compare ourselves to others. If humans didn’t fit in with the group, if humans didn’t constantly be on the lookout for threats, evolutionarily speaking, we likely wouldn’t have survived.
That knowledge doesn’t make the thoughts go away either! Practicing mindfulness is what has helped me deal with these anxious thoughts. There’s many different ways to practice this. One of my go-to things when I’m anxious is to imagine seeing myself from the perspective of the person looking at me. That person is likely thinking along the same lines. They’re likely thinking, “what if she’s judging me? What if I fail at this? What if I forget what we’re talking about?” It’s also likely (very likely) that they’re having their own thoughts that have nothing to do with me! My awareness of the other person and ability to do the perspective-taking thing sometimes helps me pull my attention back to the present moment, so I can truly pay attention to the person in front of me and not my anxious thoughts.
What things do you try in order to deal with your anxious thoughts? ♥
I suffer from anxiety myself and have found mindfulness very helpful for that and a lot of other things (I was referred to it for fatigue for ME/CFS initially). My fiance is going through a super bad patch right now with his anxiety, so it's pretty difficult in our house at the moment. For me talking and writing about it comes naturally, while he's a very private person so trying to work with him to help him when I have an entirely different approach is frustrating. I'd be interested to see if yourself or any of your readers have any tips on how to help with anxiety from that perspective.
ReplyDeleteHi Heather, I’m sorry that your fiancé is going through it so bad right now. Those days really test the limits of our coping skills. I wonder if there are things that typically help him that he could use your help with, like breathing together. Sometimes it helps when others guide us thru or do the coping technique with us. It reminds us that we’re not alone. I hope this helps.
Delete